Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Weaver Sheridan

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Weaver Sheridan is an amateur local historian and wannabe best-selling novelist.

The Magic Coronabout

‘OH look,’ said Florence. ‘Lots of strange woolly things riding on the Magic Roundabout.’ ‘They look a bit like...

This beastly lockdown!

‘HELLO, Fred. Bill here. Just phoning to see how you are. Do you realise we’ve all been stuck inside for a year...

For pandemic patter, clip on a chatterbox

AS the coronavirus crisis continues, many people are now so worried about breathing in germs that they’re keeping their mouths closed when...

Lockdownton Abbey: The Dowager defiant

Scene 1: The entrance hall. Lord Grantham stands with Isis the dog. ‘GOOD morning, milord.’ – ...

Treat yourself to an an upbeat lockdown

THREE weeks of isolation may be daunting, but it doesn’t have to be Dullsville. With a little planning, you could turn your...

Now that’s what I call self-isolation music

AS many prepare for 14 days (or possibly four months) of coronavirus self-isolation, a compilation of specially-rewritten films, TV shows, music and...

St Greta pitches in as the face of football

AMONG the more bizarre offerings to mark International Women’s Day on Sunday was a giant picture of Greta Thunberg’s face painted on...

Disorder! Disorder! Mr Speaker strives to move House

A CALL for Parliament to be moved to the North of England is being made by former government minister Sir Norman Lamb. Although...

There’s a hole in your carbon policy, Prime Minister

THERE’S no coal in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza. There’s no coal in my bucket, dear Liza, no coal.

EU trade talks: Italy demands return of Hadrian’s Wall

TALKS on an EU trade deal were plunged into fresh crisis last night after Italy demanded that Britain must hand back Hadrian’s...

Lady Nuggy, still keeping up appearances

‘GOOD morning, the Nugee residence! The lady of the house speaking!’ –  ‘Oh, sorry, I was trying to get through...

When board games were a monk’s habit

A PEBBLE-SIZED piece of glass found on the Holy Island of Lindisfarne off the Northumbrian coast is showing how even the Dark...

Might veggie dogs have a bone to pick with their owners?

A DOG running away from a butcher’s shop with a string of sausages between its teeth used to be a classic canine...

Oscars goody bags – the austerity edition

AMAZING goody bags containing gifts worth 100,000 dollars – more than £70,000 – will be handed to selected stars at tonight’s Oscars ceremony...

Boris’s rolling Brexit show, coming soon to a month near you

JUST lately, every month seems to be nominated for some cause or other, from Veganuary (giving up meat) through to Movember (growing...

Punctuation marks come to a full stop in Brexit coin row

THE controversy over the 50p Brexit commemorative coin took a dramatic twist yesterday when militant punctuation marks went on strike.

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