Monday, December 16, 2019

Nick Booth

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Nicholas Booth is a freelance technology writer

Designated Survivor – all your virtue signals come true

IF YOU want to see what the future output of the British Broadcasting Corporation will look like, you have to watch American TV. Forget all...

Fake Gnus: How Brexit wiped out the wildebeest

I MUST admit I’ve changed my mind about Brexit after watching a BBC documentary on Thursday night. It showed a typical couple, Mr and...

Oh no, it’s Owen McJones

START trembling, Owen Jones. There’s a new Shouty Boy in town. His name is Ross Greer. He is a Scottish MSP for the Green...

Welcome to the House of Comedy, where laughter goes to die

INTRODUCING British democracy’s unofficial third chamber – the House of Comedy. It does not meet in the Houses of Parliament. Nor anywhere within the moderating...

It’s all a bit sci fi, but how about putting bobbies on the beat?

CAN you believe a British police force is dropping tricky cases on the advice of computer programmers? Having worked with the police, been best...

A few simple demands for Mr Druncker

That horrible Juncker claims our demands are nebulous. I’m not surprised everything is a bit fuzzy. What does he expect if, as claimed, he consumes...

Only joking: Conservative conundrum

Q: Can you ‘think of anything more unhelpful, irrelevant and irresponsible’ than a Conservative Party leadership contest ‘at a time of grave national crisis’? ...

Down with the Yellow Streaks!

Britain’s ‘Yellow Streak’ protesters have continued another day of rioting in the Houses of Parliament. Many are furious at the new demands that have...

Dysbrexia, Part Four: Does someone YOU know need help?

IN PARTS 1, 2 and 3 of this report, we identified dysbrexia as a blind panic affecting the bourgeoisie – forcing them into denial...

Dysbrexia, Part Three – is there a cure?

IN Part 1 of the Dysbrexia Report we identified the condition as a form of panic-driven word blindness. In Part 2 we identified the...

Dysbrexia, Part Two – the damage

Yesterday, we identified the condition of dysbrexia. It’s a combination of delusions of grandeur and extreme narcissism. Sufferers like to elevate themselves by dragging...

Only joking: Foreign aid explained

WHERE does all our overseas aid money go? Direct Grants to Dr M’Bezzla at the Institute of Ubungme: £6.5million Sponsored Bunga Bunga Parties with Oxfam: £6.5billion Aid...

Starting today: Your four-part guide to dysbrexia

DYSLEXICS – as readers of this column will know – are tragically undervalued. Many protect us by working as code-crackers at GCHQ, where they spot...

What’s wrong with the NHS? The patients, that’s what

Here, did you just ask how we could run the NHS more efficiently? For goodness sake keep your voice down! We could be accused of...

The Only Way is Brussex, starring Appeaser May

Theresa May’s struggle to meet her deadline for selling Britain down the river is to be the subject of one of those modern, ‘narrative’...

Vegans tuck into a sacrificial lamb

Waitrose has got an offer on pitchforks at the moment: Buy One, Get One Free. The thing about those BOGOF deals is that they are...

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